5

"Bailey get your room clean."

"I don't want to."

"Then you won't be able to play later. Your brothers are almost done with their rooms."

(with raised eyebrows and a little head shake) "Mom, when my brothers are done with their rooms they'll come do mine for me. They always do."

Yep. That pretty much sums up the family dynamic here. We're working on that.

She's a diva, all right. But the sweetest, kindest, most compassionate one.

She adores Tyler, is best pals with Trey and loves to entertain Jack.

She cries every single day missing her Peyton.

She can strut with the best of 'em and run in heels.

After an hour of quietly working at the writing table upstairs, Bailey will bring me down the most creative ensembles of glue, glitter, paint, markers and paper. Daily.

She likes her nails done, her hair smooth and the way her sassy pink cowgirl boots look with just about anything.

She eats nothing that doesn't completely please her unless dipping it in ketchup is an option. Then she might consider it.

We sure love her. Drama and all.

Happy Birthday Bailey Bug!

Old. So very old.

This was the year of the card. Yep. The first one that points out oldness.

The front made reference to the beautiful century old redwoods in California, the inside thanked him for planting them. It made me laugh.

Robert read the card to Bailey and then said "See how I always get your mom sweet love birthday cards and she gets me cards that tell me that I'm old?"

To which Bailey responded with a head tilt, shoulder shrug, and "well, you are old, dad!"

33 big ones.

Happy Birthday Robert !!!!

2 Months

Two months ago our little Peyton passed away.

Early, early that morning I made a cement casting of his hand, covered his warm body with his fuzzy light blue blanket, and laid down next to him on our couch.

I put my arm around his panting chest, kissed his forehead, swept his beautiful orange hair over to the side and fell asleep.

When I woke up he was still.

It's still surreal. It probably always will be.

Peyton's headstone has been patiently awaiting our decision on what picture we wanted to put on it. I made all of the other decisions (with the help of the kids who were all too anxious to show me the ones they want when they die) weeks ago. We just couldn't decide what needed to go on there along with his name and dates.

Last night I was tired of looking through pictures and decided to try going another route and came up with this.

We are so grateful for this declaration. I just can't imagine never seeing Peyton again. We miss him so much.

What I've Learned in the Last 27 (and counting) Hours

Well, at least been reminded of.

Don't ask. Just let me vent.

This needed a title. (Hey, a flipping Grecian Urn got one. Blah.)

Ode to Tempting Providence

Fresh air is a marvelous luxury.
Good shows are on only when you are too busy to watch them.
Cats are overrated.
Nice people don't take themselves too seriously.
Technology is fallible.
You can never have too many wall outlets.
I sure love my kids.
Their daddy isn't so bad either :)
Walgreens photo lab just might be magic.
Sometimes cookies are a source of stress (who'd have thought?).
Tardy just means a little more family time.
Sometimes unexpected good news is way more fun then expected stupendous news.
There are good people. Good, good, people.
Happiness is relative.
So is stubbornness.
And sanity.
Cub scouts are indeed prepared.
I am usually right. Ask my kids. They think I'm psychic.

The End.

So thank you, 27 (and counting) hours of my life that I will never, ever get back. You may have just proven my kids right!

I knew you would.

So I am fully aware that this is the epitome of talking the talk without walking the walk but here it goes...

A great friend of mine (Vicki, for those of you who might be interested in supporting your favorite Zumba instructor/scout leader/PTO volunteer) and her walking pals are participating in their 3rd Avon Walk for Breast Cancer. Tee shirts with the above logo are being sold to help raise money for the cause.

The pink will be a bit brighter and they are $10 ($12 for 2XL-3XL) each.
The back will display sponsor ads and memorials.

You can contact Vicki at raginggeese@comcast.net or you can contact me at jennajricker@yahoo.com to place an order and we'll figure out shipping/drop off/pick up details.

Thanks in advance for your support!

The Afterlife Re-Written

A brief history lesson of sorts...

The Ancient Egyptians believed that after death, the spirit made a journey to the afterlife.
This was no easy task. Lots of tests. Lots of stuff to know.

During this journey, the soul met with the heart-weighing Anubis...

The outcome was recorded by Thoth...

If found worthy, the soul was welcomed into the underworld by Isis...

The end.

See. Brief. Borderline painfully brief. But you get the idea.

In an attempt to indoctrinate my offspring, I lovingly provide toys and books that foster an interest in my interest. What can I say? I need some dig buddies.

We've got a small collection of Egyptian figures. Bailey enjoys them. I'm not convinced it's because of their historical significance.

The Journey to the Afterlife According to Bailey
(Pictures taken from another room by my fabulously zoomable camera. Semi-sadly, these were completely unstaged. Well, except the last one)...

Thoth and Anubis meet with Isis to be wed...

Isis is so excited for them and gives them a hug...

Thoth and Anubis tie the knot and lovingly kiss...

Guests start arriving for the big reception...

And get ready to dance. In a line. Yee!Haw!...

So, judging by all this I might be led to believe she's leaning towards studying the history of, um, weddings, parties, or perhaps even choreography. My guess is her specialization will end up being something like the history of fierce, sparkly, peep-toe pumps. She does like her some cute sassy shoes!

I just need to hook her up with Cleopatra. That'll win her over!

*** Update (9 hours after above post)***
Just this morning I walked into my bedroom to find nearly all of the pillows in our house lined up slightly overlapping so they all stood upright.

"Mom! I made the Great Wall of China!"

Ah!Ha! I am getting through to her! She may just be the only 4 year old with any knowledge of the Ming Dynasty.

Now if I could only get her to remember things like where she left the super glue...

1 Year

Today our baby Jack turns 1!

This post needs to be in 3 parts. Trust me.

Part 1: Happy Birthday to Our Little Sunshine

Nothing has made us laugh even on our bluest days like this little boy.

He loves bananas and 'Super Why'.

He lets me rock him to sleep at church.

He laughs when he does something he knows he's not supposed to.

He can play hide and seek with Bailey long enough to let me get stuff done.

He loves plastic cups. In large quantities. All over the kitchen floor.

He will eat just about anything and when he gets tired of eating he paints his high chair tray, and styles his hair, with his food.

He yelps, then laughs, when any of his siblings start whining.

Part 2: Congratulations!

Jack is so #5 (clearly not our first child)
We have seven house plants that sit on the floor in various rooms. He has tasted all of them. He eats crayons. Why? Because his older siblings have learned that by giving him crayons to, um, admire the color of, he leaves alone the 8.3 billion tiny legos that flood our upstairs floor. While in utero 'he' accidentally ingested his brother's steroids. He loves to play with cans he scavenges from the recycle bin. And blind cords. And the vacuum. While it's on. He is taken out of his crib and carried down the stairs every morning by Tyler. He is enrolled in "walking" class taught by highly energetic Trey. He is a multipurpose, interactive stuffed animal to Bailey. He is thoroughly loved and enjoyed by all, even the neighbor kids.

So, congratulations my little ironclad. You've survived your first year! (sporting only a small scar on your cherry cheek)

Part 3: A Blessing

We always talked about 4 kids. After Bailey we knew we were done. 4 felt right. We felt complete. We had not the slightest inclination to have another baby, and then I started seeing him. Yep, silently looking at me like "hello, I'm waiting..." After fasting and praying we knew our family was missing Jack. Not just someone, or a puppy, but Jack. I was pregnant the next month, 3 months before Peyton was diagnosed. I admit I questioned the timing of it all but like always quickly recognized the blessing it was. We have 3 very independent, capable children whom, if necessary, could make it through a day (or 3) with nothing more from me then a kiss and a back scratch each night before bed. This little boy makes me suck it up, get out of bed, quit whining and do something productive, you know, like sweep or make breakfast and all the other "mom" stuff. He's the equivalent of a drill sergeant for me. He makes me work when I flat out don't want to. Unlike any buzzed head, whistle blowing, assault rifle wielding military man, Jack does it with his bright blue Bambi eyes and ridiculously silly, toothy grin. He is such a cool kid.

Smooth as Butter

This morning my shower was interrupted by what I could only suppose was going to be a cry of some sort of injustice that was plaguing my occasionally high strung 5 year old, Trey (aka "Malibu"). I watched the vague silhouette of his body approach my shower door. I cracked it open knowing I'd see Trey and expecting to hear all about the woes he was enduring.

There he was. All dressed for school in his current favorite brown pants and skateboard shirt, one hand in his pocket, looking cute as could be with his lady-killer grin pasted on his perfectly dimpled face.

This is what I got...

"Mom can I just call you 'mommiful' instead of saying 'beautiful mommy'?"
(Think about it, it took me a sec)

Why yes Trey, I think that will be quite alright.

There are some days I'm ready to sell this kid into Egypt.
But there are far more when he "makes my heart melt like a popsicle on the fourth of July".

I'm a lucky gal...

Nature Club/Corporation/Business Opportunity

Months ago an idea was conceived in the mind of my now 9 year old. He started a "Nature Club". I was fine with it. It was a lot of talk and not much action. It gave him an outlet for his incessant need to plan and organize (no laughing- he gets it from his dad too!). Somehow his humble little nature club has made the leap from a band of boys running around the playground finding bugs to a business venture. I'm not sure when I was voted off the board but don't be alarmed if you start getting mailers soliciting donations in exchange for address return labels. I'm guessing that's next on his plan to take over the world one bug at a time.

Here's how this thing has evolved- aka How to Know You're Raising a little Churchill/Mussolini (we're really hoping it's the former rather than the latter although he does occasionally show signs of slight to moderate fascism)...

Phase:

1 Announce to your recess-mates that you've started a nature club.
2 Establish your position as absolute ruler.
3 Assign lower positions to establish order and hierarchy.
4 Schedule club meetings.

Everything up 'til this point was done at school. I know that there are an infinite number of clubs when you're a 3rd grader but let this be a warning, I'm just saying a school administrative take over might be in the works- all in the name of nature, of course.

5 Hold a meeting with a handful of kids in the backyard
6 3+ times a week
7 Pull up the flagstone patio to create a garden hose induced river roller coaster for backyard critters.
8 Use aforementioned flagstones to create a large well in which to store supplies.
9 Dig. All over. Just dig.

Fine. It's not like my backyard is a lovely manicured landscaped vision. Really, we have a trampoline and a golf flag. It's now a little(lot) muddier then it used to be and a little(lot) more un-baby-brother friendly, but fine. I have a house full of boys. It was bound to happen.

10 Establish a need for funds.
11 Present fund raising ideas to the now out of power governing board.
12 Fire the governing board (even though it is by her good grace that the club is allowed to exist)
13 Recruit little brother (there's strength in numbers).
14 Ask to go play outside.
15 Raid the garage for chairs, table, wagon, jugs of bottled water.
16 Swipe a stack of plastic cups during a pantry snack raid.
17 Stand at the end of the driveway offering cups of luke-warm water in exchange for a negotiable monetary donation. In the name of nature.

I first catch wind of this when Trey (recruited little brother) comes running in and says "Mom! The UPS guys just gave us a dollar!" I, being a very tolerant mother, sometimes, just smile and bite my tongue. When Ty comes in and says he's hired some neighbor kids to go do door to door advertising and that all he has to pay them is free water I do consider discussing the principles of business ethics with him but decide against it. The whole thing was really quite intriguing by this point.

18 Raise $11. It may not sound like a whole lot, but again, it's water. Luke-warm water. In plastic Dixie cups.
19 Stick it all in a bug jar. Where else do you store club funds?
20 Do it all over again the next day. All in the name of nature.

The most recent set up included lemonade and grape Crystal Light. Give 'em an inch...

Ty's nature blog. Disclaimer: Tyler frequently updates this on his own without prior parental consultation. Again, fired. I make no guarantee of the authenticity of claims and announcements that may be presented on his site.

Chrysanthemum morifolium 'Vesuvio'

Otherwise known as the White Spider Mum.

When the time came to order flowers for the funeral my first thought was
"I want them happy".
It's the reason we chose a light blue casket (Peyton's most favorite color ever) and why I made the funeral program the way I did.
I wanted them happy.

We looked through the book and found an arrangement with these. They were perfect. White and happy.

We had them included in the arrangements we chose to flank Peyton's casket at his viewing and then taken to the cemetery to mark his grave.

Last Saturday we were in Humble and stopped by to see Peyt. The dirt, still unsettled, was surrounded by all of the beautiful flowers that had been placed there a week earlier. We let the kids each pick a flower to bring home with them. After selecting his favorite, Trey picked this one and handed it to me. He had no idea how perfect it was. It had weathered a week in the cold and rain and still looked like this.

These happy, spunky, white flowers will forever remind me of Peyt.

Pictures Worth Way More Than a Thousand Words

It's now been two weeks since Peyton died. I don't yet have the words to describe or even the clarity to fully make sense of what it is like without our little boy. I find I'm often torn between trying to remember so I won't ever forget, and not trying to think about him being gone so I don't lose it like I imagine I would. Until I figure that one out, I've been working on gathering some of my favorite pictures of Peyton's last weeks.


It all started November 2nd when his P.E. teacher approached me after school and said "Mrs. Ricker, Peyton fell today. He's fine, but we couldn't figure it out. He was standing, and just fell."

6 weeks and 4 hours later he passed away. All of these pictures were taken during those 6 weeks...

Waiting to be on the morning announcements to receive his reading team shirt
The day he was presented his printed book, adopted manatee certificate, and this guy, who he named Nicky. Two of the last pictures we have of Peyton with a natural smile.

Why was he smiling? Because he was hiding under the slide and tossing pebbles onto unsuspecting siblings and cousins as they came down.

A group of clowns volunteered their time and came to Peyton's birthday party. We had been worried about Peyton feeling sad about not being able to do much but these clowns saved the day. Within minutes the 2,327 little kids were all adequately equipped with balloon swords and fabulous apparel. Our last family picture just after Peyton's baptism.

Peyt was baptized on a Sunday just after our regular meetings. He kept asking if it was time yet. He was so excited.

Peyton's P.E. teachers stocked he and Trey (who had long since joined in on the 2nd graders class) with lego sets to work on when the rest of the kids were doing activities he wasn't able to participate in. This time was SO important and special to Trey.After Peyt could no longer attend school I would take him up occasionally to go to class, lunch, the library, music and most often P.E. Why? Because of this ridiculous game...

After this busy day Peyton was exhausted. He was laying on the couch while we worked to get everyone settled and dinner ready. As I walked back and forth for different reasons through our living room I caught bits of what was I realize was a monumental effort to make it over to the duffle bag on our stairs and get suited up in this... I remember how his sweet little body felt at this moment.

10 years...

10 years ago today we knelt across the alter in the Dallas Temple and were married and sealed for time and all eternity.

There are times it seems like just yesterday, and times it seems like forever ago.

Now more than ever I am grateful for sacred covenants we made that allows our family to be together forever. I never thought a ten year period could be so eventful.

So, ten of my favorite things about our marriage:

1. Betting on college bowl games, NCAA tournament, and golf majors. On the line? Nothing but pride and bragging rights. I go for the team with the cuter mascot, Robert the team with the best record and we always come out pretty even.

2. In-house dates once the kids are in bed. Chili's is so much tastier eaten on the couch in p.j.s while watching a movie.

3. Our tolerance, and even mild amusement, for each other's favorite shows (Oh, Robert likes Glee. He just won't ever admit it!)

4. We can get competitive over anything. Tucking kids in bed, folding clothes, number of pictures the kids draw us, who's name Jack says first (it's "dad" of course, just like the rest of the little ingrates!)...

5. If we're somewhere together in separate cars we always end up racing home. I mean, really racing (man we're bad examples for the kids sometimes! They love this game too!)

6. We do the chores each other despises.

7. Our discussions about my school work. Engineers and Archaeologists have very different opinions on the significance (or lack there of) of historical events. I like knowing what he thinks about the stuff I study (even if he's wrong).

8. Our discussions about Robert's work. Engineers and Archaeologists have very different opinions on the logistics of "take all of your kids to work day/week". (Alright, maybe that one's more dads vs. moms). I like knowing what he's up to.

9. Preparing talks or lessons together for church. We always find each other the best quotes and scriptures.

10. Robert is in the bishopric at church so on Sundays he sits on the stand (childless) and I sit down on a pew (childfull). No, this is not the liking part of #10. What I do love about this is whenever one of our kids whispers something not so whisper-like (perhaps a commentary on the taste of the Sacrament bread, for example), or Jack starts laughing hysterically at Trey smacking himself, or Bailey calling for the 17 year old boy she's going to marry, Robert gets the sweetest grin on his face. At first I thought he was just entertained by the circus that is our family. But he gets the grin on his face even when the kids are behaving remarkably well. Little moments like these show me how much he loves and appreciates me.

We've now made it through the hardest time of our lives together. Eternity should be a breeze.

Family and Friends,

We thank you all for the love, support and prayers on behalf of Peyton and our family during this time. We are truly grateful for the Christ-like love that has been and continues to be offered on our behalf.

The funeral is being handled by Restwood Funeral Home and the arrangements are as follows:

A viewing will be held from 8:30 a.m until 9:40 a.m. on Saturday, December 19th, at The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, 502 Southern Oaks, Lake Jackson, TX, 77566.

The funeral service will follow at 10:00 a.m. at the same location.

The interment will be on Saturday, December 19th at 2:00 p.m. at the Rosewood Cemetery, 2602 S. Houston, Humble, TX, 77396.

Peyton Thomas Ricker

December 6, 2001 - December 15, 2009

Peyton passed away this morning after a brave battle with brain cancer.

He lives now free of the pain and limitaions his Earthly body experienced.

I am a child of God and He has called me home.
My earthly journey's through but still, I do not walk alone.
He leads me, guides me, walks beside me, helps me find the way.
He welcomed me with open arms. I live with Him today.

I am a child of God and I have gone ahead.
My earthly life was brief but oh, such peace and love you gave.
You loved me, held me, stood beside me and though I cannot stay.
You gave me much to help me and I live with Him today.

I am a child of God and I will wait for you.
Celestial glory shall be ours, if you can but endure.
I'll lead you, guide you, walk beside you.
Help you find the way.
I'll welcome you with open arms
One bright Celestial day.

--Donna Kulliard

They're Here!

Peyton's book is now available on Ebay!!!

http://cgi.ebay.com/Mrs-Trails-and-Peytons-Manatees_W0QQitemZ250547673698QQcmdZViewItemQQptZUS_Fiction_Books?hash=item3a55ce1a62

I'll put a link over on the right, too.