12.04.2009

Out! Out Swirling Thoughts!

Every now and then my head gets too full of random swirling thoughts and although there is usually a good reason for them to be there, I find myself outrageously distracted by them.
Thrown into the mix is the comparison I always end up noting between my renegade thoughts and If You Give a Mouse a Cookie. One thought leads to another which leads to another and so on. It's a good time, let me tell you.

In a week and a half Robert goes in for another scan. It was only two and a half years ago that I was standing in line at chick-fil-a when my cell phone rang. It was Robert's surgeon and he didn't want to talk to me. Just him. My heart sank as I knew exactly what was coming. Robert had cancer. This news came 3 days after my dad died of it, and 1 year before my mom was diagnosed with it. And then our little Peyton whose burial plot I selected on Monday. Like Peyton's scans, I always get so antsy before Robert's. One thing history has taught us is that anything goes.

Although I'm very likely to spend the next week or so in somewhat of a spacey trance, I appreciate the humbling reminder that I can't do this alone. It wasn't until my dad helped plan his own funeral service from his hospital bed at MD Anderson that I learned what his favorite hymn was. "I Need Thee Every Hour". Oh how true that is and yet how easy it is to forget.

2 comments:

  1. Your Dad's favorite hymn reminded me of one of mine that I rely on as I face trials in my life..."Where Can I Turn for Peace?"...Thanks for all you share Jenna

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hello, did anyone ever tell you that is my favorite hymn too? How neat, it's funny because I'd wanted to join choir to maybe learn more about music and possibly how to sing, and my first practice, I was like "uh, I don't think I should be here, I should go home", then Stephanie says "ok choir, were going to start with the song we'll be performing next, "I Need Thee Every Hour", and I knew I was in the right place.

    ReplyDelete